When you are Ripped Apart

IMG_20161016_121906Sometimes we need to move on, we have to gather the shredded parts of our ripped heart and slay out forcing a smile. Always a question surrounds in the mind though; “Why did it ever happen, when it was never meant to be?” but eventually it did, dragging us to move on.

Loss of interest, miserable mornings, vacant trips, empty hearts and lonely us. Still we have to socialize, we have to smile, talk, eat and portray the fine us, the best of us, neglecting what we have gone through.

Sometimes we sit idle revisiting those memories, those touches and talks, promises and laughs and every scent spent together and in between when someone comes and asks us, what are you into?
Whom were you thinking of?

None of it. Nothing.

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Meeting a NO MORE BEST-FRIEND

IMG_20160702_222935Standing in a queue was not an issue but the scorching sun upon my head had made the situation worse.  Waiting with 500 and 1000 Rupee notes with strangers passing through the same phase, sweating, arguing and debating was not a great idea.
Someone was even vomiting and fainted due to sunstroke, it wasn’t comfortable altogether.

Until she came, her hair waved my mind and got me back into 11th Grade, yes she was Reva, the same Reva who used to be my bestfriend, we used to share everything from slam books, crushes, kisses and even smiles. She was my reason for attending the school. We had planned to study abroad together but things won’t work as our perusal. Some little fights turned into ignorance and hatred which were never, ego took over friendship and it let me not to smile anymore.

She smirked at me portraying I am no one for her, maybe I was good at reading eyes, it said a different story. I smiled at her and took a break. She turned back at me and boldly confronted me slapping gently. These gestures of hers always made me feel special to her, always made me her best friend.

“You have lost some weight Akash, my bestie have turned out to be a handsome men, loved your glares and nice T-Shirt, how come you look damn hot?” it cheered me up a bit but she isn’t going to be mine deemed me.  She asked me for the details of my girlfriend and the ring on her hand gave me the proof of her being someone’s else. She was my only friend, attraction came and went but nothing like her.

I told her I was dating a girl after she started displaying pictures of her husband and her son in Maldives and all, least interested I was. I asked her few personal questions but she ordered me to Control softly spoke that things were not the same, we are not best friends anymore.

This ripped my heart out, I was about to ask her, “What I did wrong?  You might have slapped me and guided onto the right path” but things were definitely not same anymore. Reva was not same anymore

Morph of CA

IMG_20160217_234114Waking up on a summer morning and embedded with a thought of confession made me nervous.
It was like tables can turn upon me. Still, I got up and grabbed a coffee. Coffee has now became my best friend after that breakup.

I went up to my parents; father was as usual watching T.V and reading newspaper simultaneously.
I don’t know how can he manage, here I can’t even manage my mood swings. Maa was in her routine chirping a song and busy shelling peas, today she was going to make Kachories, look now I have to manage my weight too..uhhh..

Means today was a normal day overall.  I giggled as this was silence before the storm, the whole house was going into turmoil soon.

I took a chance and announced “I am not going to appear for my CA Exams the next month”,
Paa looked into my eyes, I was unable to look at that curious rage. He summoned my mother and told her what shit I was talking; she came and started yelling unable to defend me in this case. I can understand their situation as they have invested every penny to fill up our education, after getting a substantial break, they asked me the reason.

Heart throbbing and with a lump in my mouth I told them about me being a Hair Stylish, they were astonished to hear that. “You haven’t have wasted lakhs to be a barber Akash”, I reverted back and told them the difference between a hair dresser and barber but went in vain. Rage was at its peak when I told that I wanted to have Apprenticeship in Loreal and it may cost upto 2 Lakhs for 6 months tenure.

“You have gone mad, you need a psychiatrist, don’t make us mad, pardon us, let us live happily, don’t spoil your career and our honour in society. Please heed to your classes and try to make money, have some futuristic plans, start a business and get yourself a tuxedo instead of an apron” Paa yelled at me.
One more dream was murdered under parental and social pressure; one more file was handed instead of scissor. Accountancy triumphed over style. A morph was created without a soul.

Kiss with Coral Lip Gloss

unnamed“Not a single word now!!!” I replied her after listening for suppressive 15 minutes. It was a weekly routine now.
“…..but how did it came out from your pocket, I don’t use coral lip gloss” Vaidehi exclaimed shedding a tear, now I was losing temper, she sheds a tear and I am done, I apologize for everything she thinks, whatever she believes, whatever she wants me to believe. I tried to push a last ball in my court.
“Vaidehi, that gloss was just to moisturize the chapped lips and was borrowed from my colleague, she hesitated at first feminist stereotype… Boys don’t wear Lip glosses and giggled but insisted and she made me use it. That’s it!! Don’t overthink…, WE WEREN’T KISSING”
She gave me a gaze and went out annoyingly; full of anger, hatred and love squeezed in her vibrant face, her mascara cried which made me more vulnerable. I stepped up, grabbed her and wiped her salty face and without a second doubt implanted a kiss on her soft lips with my coral lip gloss smeared lips. The smile on her face revealed she did liked the taste, the she did loved me. Even I love her.
I returned back the gloss to my colleague but she was asking for her lost earring also, which she might have forgot at my place yesterday. I was flabbergasted as she spoke, and found it clinging at my bag pack. She took it and moved on….May be I need to move on too, as if I don’t want to make Yarns every day to Vaidehi.

P.S: I Love Vaidehi, stands won’t affect our bond, NEVER.

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