Depressed

It happens always with me, every time I get up strong to face, something irks and flees me into past, it’s also not that I am not over it, yet partially I am sucked into it.

This time characters changed but the aftereffects were identical, the past upturned another time, something sank another time, this phase is difficult to go through. May be depression is playing its role or some buried feelings have regrown; whatever it is, it is shattering me into fine pieces more and more, my heart is dozing off more and more.

That feeling when someone ignores you, when your part is played by some other, when someone swiftly takes away your place and the person whom you have fled the seas for, is happier with the new one; will curse your existence I say. Its not that I am not positive but the reciprocated infinite love has turned into zero in front of your eyes and you don’t’ know why?

The feeling persists, why are we fading for the one who does not even care for our existence, why do we care more for every insult, why do we cry for every ignored look, why but why?IMG_20170611_154014_550

Is there rule in the universe that we never get the people for whom we care for, for whom we like, or this only happens to me? I break down into tears sometimes, I fight for the right sometimes but on the blind eyes and deaf ears it always turns into vain.

The season of un-noticing and moving on erupts, it rusts your heart, drench your eyes and kills your smile and sadness is when you realize that the cure is only causing it. Why can we not be normal again, I want to give myself  a chance again, I want to get out of it, I know if they don’t care than I also need to find someone else. I know everything, yet can do nothing.

All those momentarily pleasures have gone, the places you visited, the jokes your cracked, the movies you watched are now stand still, cursing you, pitying you.

I was always into thought that if it has happened once, it will never happen twice but the situation is now different, it did happen twice.

Now what? Am I so weird to be with, why everyone dislikes me?

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