After waiting for a phone call on a Sunday evening at last I lost the battle and dripped into pyjamas, the last hope also turned out into dismal.
In upper secondary classes we were like a bestie group, we laughed, ate, studied and slept together.
That slambook lying underneath that shelf was a proof to it. Many times when I felt ignored I read that over and over again, that feeling of them loving me rejoiced me, who knows if they still do?
I doubt now.
We used to meet every day the whole group was a family, especially those two, the one whom I loved and the one who was my life. Time flew and thus the attachment making me more miserable in their presence and vulnerable in their absence, this was me. I was always like this.
Ananya and Rahul were the two whom I had shared myself, there was a situation when oxygen felt less important the heart ached when I came to realize they were in love with each other yet I craved for their friendship with a Maze between my brain and heart.
Days passed and the distance grew longer. They snatched every bit of mine, sometimes I felt used, those calls from them to make notes and journals, pin up the presentations, book the tickets, arrangement for snacks everything.
Why me? What I did wrong? Was I not so good looking as Rahul or was I a clinged up overrated bestie. Did they hated me? Did they want me to go away? Was I the barrier? Did they always hated me? Why but Why?
Though we were in same cities, we never met then, two years passed away hastily, I always stacked their social media posts not having courage to like them, though I love them the both, I always craved for a message from their end. A simple call to meet up. It never happened.
Eventually the day arrived, they were getting married. I waited for their invitation, they have my friends as yours and have sent them the invitations. It hurts having no friends. The wedding was on Monday but nothing happened on Sunday to me, miracles does not happen in an overnight.
Was I always an option? Was I really their friend?
Does anyone have the answer?